Lost Gold Fish

Yesterday my friend zach due came home from school and his gold fish was not in it's tank like it has been every day for the last 2 years. Zach was honest with me and told me that he has suspicion that known pin head, hunter Manikas, May have taken him while zach was at school. Manikas dropped out of school in the seventh grade so he has a lot of free time on his hands nowadays. Zach is going through pretty serious depression right now because he used to talk to and spend time with his goldfish for at least 3 hours a day. Due is issuing a 1000$ reward for someone who will go into lake st. Clair and find his goldfish. The police have already been notified of this crime but not even the efficient force of the Grosse Pointe police department is able to find his goldfish. Due will be traveling to the upper peninsula to search for ice fishers who may have the skill to catch his goldfish. If due's goldfish is unfortunately not found within 2 years of nonstop 24/7 searching he will be having a service at the Calcaterra funeral home on November 17th 2015. Our love and prayers go out to the young man zach due who had a goldfish stolen from him while he was attending his remedial algebra class. "Ergh, crime in this city is erghhh bad." Dues brain was fried a couple months back so that is the best quote that I got from him. Due will be hiring Richard Bernstein the prosperous lawyer who defended Barack Obama when America did not believe he was actually born here, to convict Manikas of murder and felony.